There was absolutely no heads up whats so ever.
But on the other hand, no one told me how great it would be either.
I’ve had my fare share of disasters, but the good times definitely outweighed the bad.
But through it all, I’ve certainly learned a lot about relationships.
I learned the do’s and dont’s to keeping a relationship going and I’ve certainly learned when it was time to let someone go. I’ve felt heartache like no other and I’ve felt pain.
But because of that heartache and pain, I know what love is. I know what true love is and what it takes to hold on to that love.
Here’s what I’ve learned about relationships and maybe it’ll help you in yours.
1. It’s About Give and Take
You can’t expect to have a healthy and long lasting relationship without a bit of give and take. You can’t have more than the other.
If your partner is always giving you gifts and you can’t remember the last time you gave them one, then you’re doing a lot of taking and little giving.
Are you always the one putting forth the effort to call and arrange the dates but your partner could care less? That’s a lot of giving.
I’ve been married for over 10 years and even though that seems like a long time, I’m still young and still have a lot of learning to do.
I find myself taking a lot without a whole lot of giving. I guess you could say that I’m spoiled and sometimes I think that I take my husband for granted.
It’s not that I mean to, but sometimes I don’t think about his feelings. That’s something that I need to definitely work on because I don’t want him thinking that I don’t appreciate him.
There’s always room to grow. Sometimes you’ll do things and you may not be aware of it. It just takes someone telling you and you being open, for you to get it.
Once my hubby told me that he wasn’t feeling appreciated enough, I actually sat down and thought about it and you know what… he’s right.
I don’t show him enough how much I appreciate him. He does more than you can imagine for me and it’s sad that I don’t do enough for him. However, I’m working on that.
It’s not difficult to balance out the give and take. You just have to know when you’re giving or taking too much and let your partner know as well.
2. It Takes Time and Patience
My husband and I didn’t know everything about one another when we got married. Even though we dated for a year and a half, we honestly were still getting to know one another.
We didn’t get along all the time, and who does? It was really rocky in the beginning and I bet there were times when both of us wanted to call it quits.
But you know what? We didn’t. We stuck through it and 11 years later, we’re still going strong. I can honestly count on one hand how many times we argue throughout the year now.
We’ve gotten so close used to one another that arguments are a thing of the past. We may have small disagreements, but nothing that leads to a full fledged blow out.
Relationships are trial and error. They take time and patience. You’re not gonna agree with your partner all the time and you don’t have to.
Just know that it takes time to really getting to know someone and since you two are different, it’s definitely gonna take some patience. It’s ultimately up to you if they’re worth that. Lucky for me, mine was.
3. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Now I love my husband to pieces, but every now and then, I need some alone time. I’m not gonna lie, he does get on my nerves sometimes.
Now I’m sure that I get on his at times as well, which is why we both don’t mind when one leaves the house for a while. There’s nothing worse than having a smothering partner.
Many ladies don’t like the fact that their boyfriends spend so much time with their friends. But when you get to where I am, you almost jump for joy when they leave the house.
When you’re dating or in a relationship (especially just starting off), you tend to want to always be with that person and spend quality time together.
Now there’s nothing wrong with that, but at some point you’ll want and need some time to yourself. Too much of anything isn’t good for you and that just doesn’t apply to food.
And whenever my husband does get back home from being gone, I find myself refreshed and more excited to see him. I’m not doing back flips or anything, but I crack a smile.
Taking some “Me time” is something that every person in a relationship needs and the more time you spend with one person, the more you’ll understand.
It’s been over 11 years and I still need my alone time. So what does that tell ya?
4. Choose Your Battles Wisely
In a perfect world there wouldn’t be any arguments or disagreements. But since this world is far from perfect, people can tend to get hostile.
I’ve learned to choose my battles wisely; meaning that if we’re arguing about something that’s not worth arguing over, I drop it.
Even though I may want to keep going (cause I’m a aggressive like that), I’d rather not waste my time and energy over something silly.
However, if the argument is over something a lot more important, then yeah, I’m gonna keep going until he gives in, or I run out of breath. Then I’m catching my breath and going back in.
But ultimately, sometimes it’s not worth the fight. You two end up angry at one another, no one is speaking to anyone and it’s all a big mess. I only go to battle when it’s important.
5. They Come and Go
I’m grateful to say that I haven’t been in that many relationships but I have realized that you can be in it one day and then out the next.
I remember when a high school boyfriend and I broke up. I was devastated. I thought it was the end of the world and that I would never date again 🙁
Boy was I wrong. At the time, I didn’t believe it when my mom told me that there were plenty more fish in the sea.
Well she was sort of right. There weren’t plenty of fish, there were mountains of them.
Once I got over my ex-boyfriend, that was it. I was ready to move on and I did. I understood that nothing lasted forever and I would probably go through the same thing.
But I was okay with that. Because if I hadn’t of gone through the heart break, I wouldn’t have found my love.
I’m not gonna lie to ya. Being in a relationship isn’t a walk in the park. Some people like being single for a reason.
I happen to be one of those people who don’t like being alone, so I’m glad I found someone.
What Have You Learned About Relationships?
Relationships can be a bit fuzzy all around, but there are definitely times when they become oh so clear. I promise. My relationships always started fuzzy but they became clearer as time went on.
I know what I’ve learned about relationships, but what have you learned? Is there anything you’ve learned that I haven’t mentioned? Be sure to share by leaving a comment below.